Creating a family, becoming married is not a simple affair but at least in the beginning it seems relatively straightforward. All family entanglements tend to show up a bit later down the road with almost 40 percent of couples deciding it is not worth staying together. However, traditionally, amount of attention given to the spiritual side of separating is significantly less then when people get together. Maybe this is due to the fact that for many years divorce has been impossible and very much frowned upon, so when it happens everyone tries to get it over and done with as quickly and invisibly as possible (of course this is a generalization and for many it becomes an incredibly long and painful process).
In a wedding many couples choose to have an extra ceremony on top of the legal registration, they put a lot of planning and often engage a special person to conduct this ceremony for them - a symbolic entering into a new phase of their life as a couple. However when they choose to end this phase, rarely any special symbolic steps are undertaken to cleanly end the relationship, to step out of it and to close this chapter. Often there is too much involved into a divorce to even think about it again. Too much pain, attachment, confusion, trauma. Unlike the beginning of a relationship, its end is often an unexpected, traumatic experience for all sides. I often work with people to help them make a closure, an ending that would ensure all of the Self is back from that journey with another person, that they are ready to go on with their own life. Divorce healing ritual is one of the ways to assist the process of separation. Even years after relationship ended such ritual might bring relief and opening of the heart. It helps to put a final full stop internally, to declare it out loud to the universe that what used to be a single unit is now no longer so, a cycle is complete and you step outside of it. On the wheel of four directions it is as if you’ve walked the full wheel - East, meeting a person and beginning a relationship; South - being partners, getting married, spending years together; West - starting to feel the end, feeling the cracks that can't be repaired and North - ending marriage, divorcing. It helps to go through the wheel to acknowledge with gratitude everything that happened, the gifts you received, the life you built together and maybe to see the whole journey as a process, a cycle, a ritual. To acknowledge and own the pain on both sides and to leave 'what doesn’t belong to you' behind. When this Wheel is complete, a new wheel is available - you step into the East being open to something new, being available to a new beginning in your life with support of everything that happened before.
(artwork - Meret Oppenheim)
I love what I do and I love talking about it. In systemic work words are very important, they are healing and supportive. In celebrancy, in ceremonies, just like in constellations, words create movement of the soul, create safe space and touch hearts. Here I share my thoughts, inspirations, knowledge and words on ceremony, ritual and celebrancy.